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We each have our own distinct path to growth and enlightenment and finding that path requires the, sometimes uncomfortable, process of examining our own mess. The first step in the process is mastering the art of being still. Most of us understand the physical rewards from the occasional break but, just as necessary, is taking time to connect to self. Looking within and connecting with our emotions allows us to sit face to face with the parts of ourselves that we are not at peace with. Every challenge, every difficult person, every heartbreak and every betrayal are all lessons in disguise.

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How powerful would social media be if we could create authentic connections instead of superficial competitions? We expel so much effort toward externalizing the idea of what we want our lives to be that there is nothing left to work on actually creating it. If you want to change your life — to become the person you know you want to be — you must be willing to remove the mask.

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The best thing you can do during this time is to focus on your emotional and physical well-being. Figure out how to improve your emotional connections, what brings you joy and do more of those things. While it’s perfectly normal to feel lonely, bored and even horny while isolated, don’t set yourself up for certain heartbreak by revisiting closed chapters. Thank him for his concern, stock up on batteries and keep it moving. I promise you that this too shall pass.

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Are you fully present in the moment you are in? Like most, my initial feeling regarding this pandemic was fear of the unknown. How will I keep my family safe? How will I keep myself safe while ensuring that we have what we need? How long will it last? What will the new landscape of the world be when, if things get back to normal? Thankfully, it didn’t take very long for faith to step in and remind me of who I am and Who is in charge. With this came peace because I know that, with His grace, our needs will be provided for and we will survive whatever is to come. Fear has now been replaced with awareness that our collective focus should be on understanding the purpose for all of this.

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Healing isn’t an intellectual process. It’s not always possible to arrive at a logical conclusion as to why, despite our best efforts, things didn’t go as we’d hoped. Each of us has experienced something so profound that it didn’t allow us to go back to who we once were. While it’s perfectly normal to feel hurt, confused or even upset, understand that no one is exempt from this emotional rollercoaster. Learn to embrace these experiences as life’s way of pushing continuous growth and seize the opportunity to move forward into a better, stronger and wiser version of yourself.

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We all strive to give our absolute best to everything and everyone, personally and professionally.  However, we sometimes fail to realize that we must show up for ourselves before we can truly show up for anyone else.  What makes you your personal best is being whole and being whole requires self-care.

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As women, it’s imbedded in us early on that healthy relationships require compromise. We’re taught that it’s damn near impossible to be 100% authentic while successfully maintaining a happy long-term relationship. We shouldn’t be too strong when expressing our needs and expectations. We should acknowledge, understand and accept when a man is trying his best. If he’s a good man, then we should focus on his potential and how we can support his growth rather than where he stands in the moment.

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When I began working on my first novel, Something Deeper, I had no idea how much of my personal experiences would be poured onto those pages. Despite the differences in each character, the women all represent fragments of me at various stages of growth. Also represented to some degree are remnants of the women who have been most influential in my life.

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