Soul Lessons
How have you been spending this time of forced stillness? If you’re anything like me, you’ve scrubbed and scoured every corner, reorganized, redecorated, explored your creative side, honed your culinary skills, drank — more than usual, gained a few pounds, started a fitness plan that was quickly abandoned and now you’re wondering what to tackle next. How about using the remaining time to concentrate on what we should be doing as a collective — being still and looking within. Are you comfortable with the silence? Do you find yourself constantly searching for things to do in an effort to keep your thoughts at bay? Or are you relaxed and at peace with yourself?
For me, one of the many benefits of being quarantined has been gaining a better understanding of the meaning and importance of self-care. Before this, I believed that self-care merely meant taking the occasional break from adult and professional obligations. Options were normally a mini spa day, a long candlelit bubble bath, sleeping in past 7 A.M. or enjoying a nice bottle of wine while curled up with a good book. Don’t get me wrong, I still believe in the importance of all of these things. Like a lot of women, I’m looking forward to my first post-quarantine spa appointment. But I now understand that true self-care — physical and mental well-being — also requires persistently working toward achieving a higher level of self-awareness. This means understanding the soul lessons needed for continuous personal growth. These may be lessons in trust, forgiveness, compassion or even self-love. Soul lessons are unique to each individual and, when mastered, creates a greater level of self-awareness and inner peace.
We each have our own distinct path to growth and enlightenment and finding that path requires the, sometimes uncomfortable, process of examining our own mess. The first step in the process is mastering the art of being still. Most of us understand the physical rewards from the occasional break but, just as necessary, is taking time to connect to self. Looking within and connecting with our emotions allows us to sit face to face with the parts of ourselves that we are not at peace with. Every challenge, every difficult person, every heartbreak and every betrayal are all lessons in disguise. Neglecting the feelings associated with these experiences leave emotional splinters which allows for continued discontent and spiritual unrest. So, if you find yourself repeatedly colliding with — “I can’t believe I’m here again,” “why is this always happening to me?”, or still emotionally tied to a painful experience — it’s time to get to work. Figure out the behaviors that you need to change to stop the cycle. Stop placing blame and accept that you are also culpable because nothing can repeatedly be done to you without your permission.
I still have some work to do but being still has allowed me to recognize that I’ve been sidestepping some painful truths for a while. I’ve learned that even though I’ve let go of future expectations, I haven’t completely forgiven my father for not being as consistently reliable and present as he should be. I’ve made peace with letting go of a friendship that is no longer supportive. I’ve discovered that I need to exercise more patience with my sons and practice listening to them without preconceived notions. I’ve learned that I need to be more comfortable simply saying “no” without needing to explain. With so many people acknowledging not being okay during this period, I understand that it’s okay to admit when I’m in a bad emotional space because the only judgment is self-imposed. But the most important lesson of all, is realizing that I should be living my life with more frequent demonstrations of gratitude.
Working through the emotions entwined with soul lessons can be challenging and downright painful. I’ve learned that continuously reminding myself of its greater purpose has allowed me to embrace each with gratitude. It has allowed me to move forward with new knowledge, better insight and a greater level of accountability. No matter which soul lesson you may be battling, I can tell you that the first step toward mastery is simply to surrender. Having the courage to let go and accept that God is taking you through the challenge for a divine purpose, brings comfort and the awareness that you are fully equipped to master it. Life will always have its challenges, so mastery doesn’t mean never facing a similar trial again. It simply means being better equipped to react knowing that the final outcome is always peace.