Unmasked - The Truth Behind Social Media
I guess I’m what you’d call a latecomer to social media. Even though I’d received many invitations to join, I just never saw a need for it. Then one day, a few years ago, I created a Facebook page simply out of boredom. After making a few connections and creating my first post, my comment section was flooded with statements like “Finally!”, “OMG, where have you been?!” and “Welcome!”. I’ll admit that it felt good; like being admitted into the cool club and I was anxious to dive in and explore.
It was great reconnecting with former classmates and friends. I enjoyed going through pages, viewing photos and feeling like I was getting a quick — in some instances, detailed — update on what was going on with everyone. Overall, most appeared to be doing really well and I became very familiar with the infamous hashtag “living my best life.” I am blessed to have two wonderful sons who, at that time, were my only authentic source of happiness. I was single, didn’t like the city I lived in, financially stable but hated my job and was in a phase of generally feeling lost and unhappy.
The price of admission quickly turned into a deepening depression every time I got online. Everyone was living their best life and there I was with no idea of what I needed to feel the same sentiment. Eventually, I was able to renew some relationships outside of the online interactions and that was when my education on the real social media culture began. I learned that “friend” is a term loosely used to describe associations built on the frequency of “likes” for the life designed through the lens of a camera. Online friends are offered the narrative created within the frame but are rarely, if ever, invited to view anything beyond that. I was even surprised to see personal friends regularly boasting about relationships I knew for a fact were on life support. I often wondered if they ever considered how dishonest they appeared to people who actually knew the truth? I guess the recognition from the pretense somehow compensated for whatever was missing from the reality.
It didn’t take long for me to understand that, depending on what you choose to internalize, social media browsing can be a very damaging pastime. Instead of using words to uplift and encourage, so many wield them as weapons to feed self-doubt, hate and jealousy. I have no stake in what anyone chooses to share to social media, but sometimes I wonder how different those pages would be if we were all willing to remove the mask. How beneficial would it be to have more individuals share genuine stories that are similar to our own? How powerful would social media be if we could create authentic connections instead of superficial competitions? We expel so much effort toward externalizing the idea of what we want our lives to be that there is nothing left to work on actually creating it. If you want to change your life — to become the person you know you want to be — you must be willing to remove the mask.
Eventually, I stepped out on faith by leaving my job with nothing else on the horizon. I spent a year unemployed, trying to figure out what I needed to feel true happiness — at least most of the time. Even though I wasn’t completely transparent about the details of my journey, I also never lied. Instead, I posted about lessons learned which supported my spiritual growth. If I was having a bad day, I sometimes acknowledged it and shared whatever quote or affirmation was helping me through it. This was how I learned some of the truths behind the façade — as individuals reached out thanking me for the inspiration and sharing fragments of their current struggles. Ultimately, it helped me to discover a new passion — supporting women in putting in the work required to live a purposeful and joyful real life. My hope is that my transparency will inspire other women to abandon the smoke and mirrors and begin walking in their truth. I want us all to know that it really is possible to create lives that not only look good visually but, more importantly, feel good spiritually. A grateful and authentic heart attracts more to be grateful for. Live your life as you should, unmasked!