Self-Care Is Making Me Uncomfortable

Last month I discussed the importance of establishing a tailored self-care routine and provided a few simple tips to help you get started.  I also touched on my desire to create a plan, focused on my overall well-being, with the hope of creating better balance in my life.  I’m only two months in with my routine and, even though I’m developing better habits, I have to be honest about this process not being as simple or as enjoyable as expected. 

I’m discovering that, for me, the idea of self-care is more alluring when the focus is on the feel-good stuff. It doesn’t take much convincing to accept the importance of rewarding myself or making time for the things I enjoy. But self-care is less appealing when the focus shifts to emotional and physical health. I believe that this is probably the case for a lot of women. We’re conditioned to the notion of being a superwoman, but sometimes the cape also serves as a cover-up for the internal house cleaning demanding attention.  So, how does one begin to expose what’s beneath the cape?

For me, it means spending more time looking within, especially when the view makes me uncomfortable.  And I’m not talking about simply being still while enjoying mindless distractions.  I mean really sitting with myself, looking inside and having an internal monologue.  I’ve been dedicating time to examining who I am — how and what I communicate, what I think and feel — and how these things affect my life and the lives of others.  Journaling has been helpful with working through some of my discoveries because it’s safe; like talking with a therapist.  I can be totally transparent without the fear of judgment. Maybe in a year or so I can review my notes and assess my progress. So, while the emotional aspect is still ongoing, I believe that unraveling some of these feelings will provide a greater sense of freedom and help with establishing the balance I need. 

Maintaining transparency, the physical side of self-care has also been a bit of a challenge for me.  I’m staying hydrated and even though I’m not dieting, I’m eating better.  Better for me means eating more regularly, which is something I often neglected.  I’m still walking but decided that, while nice and relaxing, I needed something to break up the monotony and provide a greater physical challenge.  So, I purchased a bicycle and started riding a few days a week.  I am also playing with the idea of joining a gym, but I’m allowing myself to enjoy each new activity without adding too much too quickly. 

As you explore and define new ways to invite joy in, don’t suppress or neglect the areas that really need your attention.  Sometimes we latch on to the idea of self-care because we’re really seeking a temporary escape from hurt or discomfort.  So, love yourself enough to work on the things that will have a long-term impact, not just short-lived fun.