Are You Delaying Your Blessings?

“When God punishes you, it’s not that you don’t get what you want.  You get everything that you want and there’s no time left.”  I’ve been reflecting on these words since watching Miles Davis: Birth of the Cool, the documentary chronicling the life of jazz legend, Miles Davis.  Imagine finally getting everything you’ve ever wanted in life only to not have enough time to fully experience and appreciate it all. 

While I wholeheartedly believe that God’s plans for my life will be fulfilled, I also believe that I can, and probably have delayed a few of His blessings.  I’ve lingered in professional situations despite knowing that it was time to move on. I’ve loved a few people, up close, longer than I should have. I’ve walked a few paths where the landscape mirrored wounded spaces and disregarded my inner voice shouting “run girl, run!”.  Convinced myself that different players meant the possibility of a different outcome. Only to end up hurt and disappointed, yet again, asking God why this keeps happening to me. I didn’t realize that I was doing it to myself.    

It took some time to understand that, even though every experience is a part of His divine plan, being stuck on repeat is not.  Sometimes an experience is recreated because we missed the message during the first go round.  The idea of the person or situation being the blessing causes us to overlook the true blessing, the knowledge or insight to be gained in the midst of the discomfort.  So, we hold on while believing that we can right course something destined to be derailed.  Or we ignore the warning signs, thinking we can make this time different.  Our journeys are intentionally and lovingly designed.  If we pay attention, we have everything required to help us to grow into our divine selves, but growth requires discomfort, acceptance and willingness to change. 

Miles’ journey was characteristic of how, despite repeated experiences, we tend to avoid acceptance and change.  Unfortunately, in his case, that realization occurred too late.  As I reflect on his words, I can’t help but to hope that my determination to remain in spaces I had outgrown hasn’t consumed too much of my time.  I pray that, despite my delays and detours, I am still able to fully experience and appreciate all of the joy intended for me.