Cultivating a Foundation of Self-Love
To begin, I believe it’s important to discuss the meaning of self-care and the significance of cultivating a personal routine. Self-care isn’t simply engaging in activities that provide a momentary feeling of pleasure. It means routinely engaging in behaviors which increase happiness by alleviating depression and anxiety, reducing stress, and providing an overall positive outlook on life.
Since our individual needs are unique, self-care does not look the same for everyone. So, it’s important to determine what will work for you. Begin by evaluating your specific needs, habits, time and financial considerations. The goal is not to cram every free minute with fun filled activities. Nor is it to spend money simply for a short-lived high. Instead, it is to develop and nurture behaviors which contribute to a sustained healthier lifestyle. When scheduling your outings, work your way into finding a comfortable pace. Too many commitments, even enjoyable ones, can result in burnout. It is also important to ensure that the cost, financial or otherwise, doesn’t increase or create stress.
My last blog, Chasing Joy, discussed my resolve to invite more joy into my life. For me, this meant creating a self-care framework which supports that ideology. My focus isn’t solely on the regular maintenance doings such as spa days and brunches. My fundamental goal is to embrace a lifestyle where those ordinary practices aren’t merely a reward for exhaustion, but instead a regular expression of self-love. My first step was creating a groundwork of routine practices to support me in staying centered and focused. These are the foundational behaviors that I determined best for me in supporting the overall changes I want to make this year.
Practicing Gratitude – Last year, I started a gratitude jar. Even though it wasn’t as frequent as I’d originally intended, I did add notes to it regularly. I closed out the year revisiting those notes and reflecting on just how much good I’d experienced in 2020. It was such a profoundly rewarding experience that I am making it an annual practice. Last year’s notes have been stored and my gratitude jar is now kept on the nightstand. Each day begins with prayer, reflection and adding a note to the jar. This has allowed me to greet each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart. It shifts attention from negative emotions and enables me to focus on the joy in everything happening to me, no matter how small.
Periods of Stillness – Self-care means taking time to really listen to your body and inner voice. For me, this means turning off outside influences and intentionally tuning in to my feelings and what’s going on inside my mind. I’ve discovered that periodic electronics fasts, leisurely walks and reading allow me the silence needed to decompress and focus. There’s nothing like sunshine, fresh air or a good book when you need to recharge and be still.
Personal Motivation – While continued personal and professional growth is always a priority for me, I also know how easily I can be tempted to allow my needs to take a backseat to everyone else’s. So, I wanted a plan to keep me focused and motivated. I decided to create a personal reward system. I started by deciding on twelve items that I want to purchase for myself this year. Not all are expensive, but each one is categorized as something I want to have but is not a needed item. I wrote each down on a notecard and sealed the cards in separate envelopes. Each month that I achieve a personal or professional goal, I will randomly select an envelope and treat myself to that item as a reward.
For as long as I can remember, music has always been a necessity for my general well-being. I can name a song to epitomize every stage, every relationship and every significant event in my life. Working from home during the pandemic allows me to work with a musical backdrop based on mood without the worry of disturbing anyone outside my office. With the ability to socialize on hold, it made perfect sense to transfer my shoe addiction to starting a vinyl collection. Since then, I’ve acquired a pretty impressive catalog and a great audio sound system. So, it seemed only fitting to crown January’s self-care activities with a musical celebration.
The evening started with a French martini – okay two – while waiting for my sushi delivery. Next was a relaxing candlelit bubble bath set to Miles Davis’, Kind of Blue. After donning comfortable pj’s and fuzzy socks, I opened a bottle of cabernet sauvignon and the dance party was on! I played every 80’s LP in my collection and danced until I broke a sweat before slowing down the pace and taking a nostalgic stroll through the memories shrouded in each song. The evening was both joyful and cathartic.
January was a successful month of self-care and I’ve identified a few activities that will remain a part of my standard routine. I’m remain excited about this journey, about finding new ways of embracing joy. Though your self-care routine may differ from mine, please find ways to let the light in. Rest and reflect when needed. Avoid slipping into the pitfall of self-neglect and continue to discover new ways to fuel your inner sunshine.