Sitting In Uncomfortable Spaces
Sometimes I wonder if people really don’t realize the way some of these well-intentioned posts of perpetual positivity come across. Instead of really offering encouragement, I’m seeing more thoughtless statements that seem more like inflated egos masquerading as self-love and self-confidence. Sending messages with no context other than being so enlightened that every second of every day is just overflowing with positivity actually dishonors those of us who are willing to acknowledge our struggles. Sometimes we discredit our own journey and growth by not owning the shit we walked through to get where we are and the shit we go through — still — just to remain on solid ground. There’s no shame in admitting that you’re not feeling upbeat; to concede that you’re not in a good place but are working through it. Genuine self-confidence and self-love come with a certain degree of humility and vulnerability. It enables one to shine brightly while still being at ease with owning the occasional rainy day.
I’ve always been that girlfriend who is regarded as the strong, confident one who generally has her stuff together. At least enough to be the one normally called on for support and advice. And even though I can always offer rational thought and guidance to others, I still have days when it requires conscious effort to stay in a positive headspace. You see, being strong doesn’t mean I never experience hurt and disappointment. It doesn’t mean I’m spared moments of self-doubt. There are definitely times when I overthink and stress about problematic situations. But, being strong means that I’m comfortable with allowing myself to feel those human moments. It means I cry if I need to. I vent and even scream when necessary but, eventually, I’m going to put my big girl panties on and handle my business.
At the end of the day, I believe that we all experience similar joys and pains. I also believe that the best way to honor someone’s journey is to embrace them with love and support exactly where they are; to be willing to sit in their uncomfortable spaces. No one should be shamed into suffering in silence. No one should resort to putting up smokescreens to hide pain and insecurities. No one should fear judgement for admitting that they still have some shit to figure out because we all do. That’s what life is about. When you refuse to acknowledge your true self — to concede that you still have work to do — you impede your growth by delaying or even blocking your full potential.
So, if that message hits you on a cloudy day, don’t allow anxiety to creep in. You’re doing fine. Crappy days are completely normal. Just know that it’s a passing discomfort and tomorrow is another opportunity to continue trying, striving to get it right.